Post by Dianne on Jul 23, 2008 20:45:28 GMT -5
This thread is meant to be a work of humor, and not meant to be a real guide on meeting Gerard. If you do try out some of these techniques, please understand that I am not responsible for any lawsuits, restraining orders, arrests, or other catastrophes that may come your way. It's true that Gerard will notice you... just probably not in a, um, positive light. ("But it's so fun to think of the possibilities!")
Exactly. So with that said, here is the list! Please feel free to add to it!
1. Ask Gerard Butler to autograph a body part.
2. Follow him around town like a crazed fan. Finally ask him, "Are you really Gerard Butler?" When he says yes, say, "Oh, I thought you were someone else," and walk away.
3. Tell him how sexy his pinky finger is.
4. Pinch his butt. Then act like he pinched you.
5. Run after him screaming, "He's my Baby Daddy!" or please honey, you promised to support me and the baby!
6. Walk up to him with a little toy piano and tell him you will accompany him while he sings Music of the Night?"
7. Instead of asking him to autograph a picture or DVD, ask him to autograph a sanitary napkin. (Hee hee hee...) If that doesn't make him run screaming nothing will!
8. Ask him, "Can I smell your underwear?" (If any one of you actually does this, please let me know the full details of the ensuing conversation!)
9. While Gerard is in his limo, pretend your a windshield cleaner. When the limo hits a red light, squeegee the windows and refuse to leave.
10. During a (preferably serious) play, hold up a sign that says, "Give Us A Real Show, Gerard! Strip For Us!"
11. Give him flowers. Dead flowers.
12. Stare at his balls and tell him how gorgeous his eyes are.
13. Throw marshmallows onto the stage.
14. Look at him for a very long time, then say, "No offense sir, but you look like that one really ugly actor from 300. What's his name? Oh yeah, Gerard Butler."
15. Ask him where babies come from. Have a notebook in hand to take notes!
16. Point at him and laugh uncontrollably.
17. Walk up to him, stare at him, and say spookily, "I just saw a vision of my own death..."
18. Get a friend. You pull one of Gerard's arms while your friend pulls the other, and start singing "The Boy Is Mine."
19. Make a beautifully packaged gift basket and present it to him after a play. Inside, include condoms, can openers, floppy discs, used tissues, and other random junk you can find.
20. Kneel at his feet, start bowing and chanting, "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Then stop, give a good look at him, and say, "Oh, I thought you were someone else."
21. Stand next to Gerard. When someone else goes up to him for an autograph, say in a nonchalant voice, "He's my baby daddy, you know."
22. Dress like a nun, and pinch his butt!
Exactly. So with that said, here is the list! Please feel free to add to it!
1. Ask Gerard Butler to autograph a body part.
2. Follow him around town like a crazed fan. Finally ask him, "Are you really Gerard Butler?" When he says yes, say, "Oh, I thought you were someone else," and walk away.
3. Tell him how sexy his pinky finger is.
4. Pinch his butt. Then act like he pinched you.
5. Run after him screaming, "He's my Baby Daddy!" or please honey, you promised to support me and the baby!
6. Walk up to him with a little toy piano and tell him you will accompany him while he sings Music of the Night?"
7. Instead of asking him to autograph a picture or DVD, ask him to autograph a sanitary napkin. (Hee hee hee...) If that doesn't make him run screaming nothing will!
8. Ask him, "Can I smell your underwear?" (If any one of you actually does this, please let me know the full details of the ensuing conversation!)
9. While Gerard is in his limo, pretend your a windshield cleaner. When the limo hits a red light, squeegee the windows and refuse to leave.
10. During a (preferably serious) play, hold up a sign that says, "Give Us A Real Show, Gerard! Strip For Us!"
11. Give him flowers. Dead flowers.
12. Stare at his balls and tell him how gorgeous his eyes are.
13. Throw marshmallows onto the stage.
14. Look at him for a very long time, then say, "No offense sir, but you look like that one really ugly actor from 300. What's his name? Oh yeah, Gerard Butler."
15. Ask him where babies come from. Have a notebook in hand to take notes!
16. Point at him and laugh uncontrollably.
17. Walk up to him, stare at him, and say spookily, "I just saw a vision of my own death..."
18. Get a friend. You pull one of Gerard's arms while your friend pulls the other, and start singing "The Boy Is Mine."
19. Make a beautifully packaged gift basket and present it to him after a play. Inside, include condoms, can openers, floppy discs, used tissues, and other random junk you can find.
20. Kneel at his feet, start bowing and chanting, "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Then stop, give a good look at him, and say, "Oh, I thought you were someone else."
21. Stand next to Gerard. When someone else goes up to him for an autograph, say in a nonchalant voice, "He's my baby daddy, you know."
22. Dress like a nun, and pinch his butt!