|
Post by I'm in Oklahoma Gerard! on Jul 25, 2009 16:59:09 GMT -5
Most definitely, Shadow. I don't get that way very often, but when I do, it's not pretty. My husband just can't comprehend it and tries to cheer me up which just seems to make it worse. I'm like you; I've got to be off on my own and get into my head. Sometimes it sort of feels like a mandated introspection by the universe. I sort of went into one after reading Gerry's Esquire interview -- I couldn't sleep after reading it -- it hit WAY too close to home.
|
|
|
Post by Shadow of The Phantom on Jul 25, 2009 17:11:01 GMT -5
Most definitely, Shadow. I don't get that way very often, but when I do, it's not pretty. My husband just can't comprehend it and tries to cheer me up which just seems to make it worse. I'm like you; I've got to be off on my own and get into my head. Sometimes it sort of feels like a mandated introspection by the universe. I sort of went into one after reading Gerry's Esquire interview -- I couldn't sleep after reading it -- it hit WAY too close to home. Why did that one interview get to us so much? Oh my gosh, don't I know it ! My sisters or my close friends will still get confused from time to time when I go into one of my 'moods', as I call them, on account of me usually being a bright and happy person. But depending on how deeply I'm affected, I might just let them know I need some time for myself or, if things are particularly intense for me, I will also not hesitate to give out the 'don't even THINK about it' signal. Fortunately, those who I care about get it pretty quickly.
|
|
|
Post by leosgurl on Jul 25, 2009 17:33:06 GMT -5
I can relate to the Phantom at every level. I too am lonely, just like he was. He was in a prison that he can never leave, I feel the same. All a person needs is motivation and love. I've never fallen in Love. I always think I'm not attractive enough, I know I'm 20 lbs. overweight. But I know I still look good. Its very hard to wake up in the morning and be happy. I'm the happy one in the family, and it takes a lot out of you. Still, you have to be strong to stay alive. Or you will be dying little by little. Its great, I'm not the only one. G gave inspiration to be myself, and motivation to do what I want, to just have power within yourself to succeed in anything. Thanks Gerry for being yourself. For being the warm, considerate bear Ruah
|
|
|
Post by I'm in Oklahoma Gerard! on Jul 25, 2009 18:56:18 GMT -5
Oh, Leosgurl, I feel you hon'. I know about not feeling attractive enough. I've never felt really attractive, but then other times I'd think, "I'm not THAT bad – good enough for someone." This hurt so much going through high school with hardly a date. Having so much love inside that you want to share with someone special, but no one wanting it from you....I felt that way for years. He's out there somewhere, I promise. Keep your eyes open, he could be right in front of you.
It has taken me YEARS to feel attractive. When my husband and I were dating in college, we used to play this (sort of) game. I would point to a girl I thought my body sort of resembled and he’d tell me how close I got. Or he’d show me someone who resembled me. I was always WAY off – but my brain just couldn’t see me any other way. If you have a really good friend whose opinion you trust, you might try this. I’m not saying it will completely change how you see yourself, but you might be surprised. Just a thought. I’m finally at a time in my life where I’m just “Fuck it! This is probably the best I’m going to look from here on out, so I’d better enjoy it!"
Keep up the positive energy – it definitely gives you strength. I too am very positive, not bubbly, but laid back. People know, when I get pissed, it's serious. It does take a lot out of you to stay happy and positive, but I've always felt like it takes about the same amount of energy to be equally miserable. So why not brighten the world a little, right? But it is SO hard when you feel like you're the only one smiling and trying to help others do the same. If that's where you find yourself all the time, please take care of yourself. Others will suck the positive energy right out of you.
Y’all can just ignore me and my psycho-babble treatise! I love all of you putting up with me!
|
|
|
Post by dawne27 on Jul 25, 2009 20:31:19 GMT -5
in one of gerry's interviews over the POTO he said that it was the 'beauty and ugliness within, the duality', he could relate to. leosgurl my heart pours out for you...your lonesomeness. that ache. listen sweetheart...hear 'change gonna come' by seal - never hide your identity...hold it up...wave it....positive mental attitude...all the way! the 'beauty & the beast' has ALWAYS mystified me....and plagued me...... while reading LFC and Lepp's accounts....man oh man... i WAS the kid who would literally got in their faces for picking on people...you better believe it....(laugh) i was a tough brawler, if i had to....did not like it when other kids or animals got hurt....(fierce) no boby messed with this little redhead....and yes, the boys (especially blonds) liked me...okay, lets kiss and climb a tree (laugh)...it was fun... the forts....the sky....THEN...when i turned seventeen i became an awkward loner who was chubby & plain, had NO boyfriends, at all. so....I didn't want anything to do with my peers - (you know, mock superiority to cover a deep insecurity? ah hum). it was a miserable year....which lasted forever. shadow and okie....(and other girls)....looks are SO relative, huh? rejection HURTS no matter where we are in life..... that chubby, plain girl self-image lingered for me up to my earliest 20's...until one night a boy i 'protected' in grade school met...he was ...an 'ugly duckling turned swan'...we both had become the swan, and so, in and out of a 10 yr. affair i 'learned' how desired i was, afterall...its amazing. being loved, time and maturity round us out and fill us up....to the brim..... leosgurl....allow yourself to be loved. fully, completely. allow yourself to love....share it, give it....looks are SO temporary... yeah, it's important, it's what draws us to the other initially...but, what's underneath is what keeps it going. and that's real and 'real' is what we want, afterall. the 'glimmer shimmers' but it's the afterglow what folks wanna come home to, ya know. now at 50, it appears i've come full circle to 17 (smile) i've become, once again, a chubby, plain girl..only difference now is i am a woman who LOVES herself and i am LOVED by others....allow that to enter into your life...... .
|
|
|
Post by pilar on Jul 25, 2009 21:33:28 GMT -5
What wondeful, insightful posts to come home to and read!
Folks, I removed that post because it was just way too personal. It was someone else's baggage, not mine. John is fucked up in the head, plain and simple. But I love him very much and his friendship means the world to me.
He wrote me a heartbreaking e~mail last night thanking me for being his best friend...this is after I was contemplating taking a long break from him. I told him I wish he could see himself as the terrific person he is....because I sure do.
XO
|
|
|
Post by Leppardlady on Jul 26, 2009 10:53:47 GMT -5
That was well said, dawne27 and Leo and Okie, I agree about not feeling attractive enough for a man. I watch couples walking around Walmart and I compare myself to the women all the time.
|
|
|
Post by dawne27 on Jul 26, 2009 19:46:50 GMT -5
lepp - you're funny.....watching other gals at walmarts - (wheee) watch out now ya may get a cart in yer backside...(snort)..listen, i can tell it like it is especially to myself (smile) even though i 'say' i'm chubby & plain...okay...yeah, well...guys are so funny when it comes to 'looks' right....what's gorgeous to one isn't to the other...it's all so relative...i bet lepp you are a gorgeous female wiley temptress jus' waitin' for that one guy in particular ....since i've been flattened out over these past weeks i've gone BACKWARDS w/my workout...(ugh)...when i look at myself...i see a 'goddess athlete'....(who just blew their milk?) this is what i'm talkin about, isn't that what the character 'mike' alluded in TUT? okay, get on the 'stairmaster' (to make the most of what you already have)...and while he groomed his gal-pal to seduce her 'perfect mate' (which he was...but, mike had more, you know) he himself realized it's not the 'upfront' stuff...but, the backend stuff... did i say backend? ....i think gerry is an ass man, by the way.....
|
|
|
Post by norwigi on Jul 6, 2012 16:20:07 GMT -5
At first , i was really moved by Gerry acting in POTO. I really felt Erik's pain and loneliness . The POTO has become very important to me, since i feel less alone. I listen to soundtrack almost very day.
when i was little , was bullied from elementary school and trough high school. I was called stupid and useless , because i often did mistakes. The girls would give me the cold shoulder. There were a couple of girls that were nice to me , but i was afraid that they would gett bullied to , so i kept to me self. I also always had a hard time fitting in , no matter how hard i try.I learned a couple of years latter that My so called best friend was the one who made the others bully me. That hurt even more and i became very shy and reserved. I still have hard time opening up to people. Once i really like someone , i just can't help to feel strong feelings for them and trust them completely. So it's really hurts when they let me down. I'm afraid of getting to close people and i usually get them at arms length. In a way i hide myself like Phantom , afraid of being rejected and hurt. Besides my family and closest friends , i never told this to anybody. You guys are so nice , so i feel safe. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years and listing to the soundtrack makes me feel better.
After i learned more about Gerry , i liked him even more. I was touched when he told that the things that he went through and that he was struggling to find his purpose in life. Because of the bullying , I'm diagnosed with social phobia. I have a hard time finishing my education and finding the right job. I thought that it was amazing that Gerry still wanted to pursue his dreams to become a actor , even when he had just failed as an lawyer. He said that he didn't really wanted to become a lawyer , so i think that on a subconscious level , that he was trying to sabotage his career. Gerry is amazing strong person and has inspired me to do me best to not give up.
|
|
|
Post by dawne27 on Jul 6, 2012 18:19:42 GMT -5
At first , i was really moved by Gerry acting in POTO. I really felt Erik's pain and loneliness . The POTO has become very important to me, since i feel less alone. I listen to soundtrack almost very day. when i was little , was bullied from elementary school and trough high school. I was called stupid and useless , because i often did mistakes. The girls would give me the cold shoulder. There were a couple of girls that were nice to me , but i was afraid that they would gett bullied to , so i kept to me self. I also always had a hard time fitting in , no matter how hard i try.I learned a couple of years latter that My so called best friend was the one who made the others bully me. That hurt even more and i became very shy and reserved. I still have hard time opening up to people. Once i really like someone , i just can't help to feel strong feelings for them and trust them completely. So it's really hurts when they let me down. I'm afraid of getting to close people and i usually get them at arms length. In a way i hide myself like Phantom , afraid of being rejected and hurt. Besides my family and closest friends , i never told this to anybody. You guys are so nice , so i feel safe. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years and listing to the soundtrack makes me feel better. After i learned more about Gerry , i liked him even more. I was touched when he told that the things that he went through and that he was struggling to find his purpose in life. Because of the bullying , I'm diagnosed with social phobia. I have a hard time finishing my education and finding the right job. I thought that it was amazing that Gerry still wanted to pursue his dreams to become a actor , even when he had just failed as an lawyer. He said that he didn't really wanted to become a lawyer , so i think that on a subconscious level , that he was trying to sabotage his career. Gerry is amazing strong person and has inspired me to do me best to not give up. welcome, welcome norwigi! so glad you're here and joining the conversation! although i haven't shared your 'life experiences' ((as i probably would've been a neighborhood 'bud'....kicking the shit out of those twit bullies )) i understand how you relate to gerry through his rendition of POTO. many, many women fans so very moved by his portrayl. matter of fact, the story of one girl a couple of yrs ago on national tv said she lost over 200 lbs and found love for the 1st time at aged 30 b/c of gerrys POTO. and, this story among many others had inspired me to explore this phenomenon (interact. between gerster & his fans). so glad to hear you've surmounted your past, moving forward and enjoyng life! Vive' Amore'
|
|
|
Post by norwigi on Jul 8, 2012 11:08:06 GMT -5
dawne27 I'm glad that you never went through the stuff i did. I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy ( If i had one tough). I doing much better the past few years. Much of it has to do listing to David Bowie. . My mom also has anxiety as well , so she understand what I'm going through and my best friend. Gerry himself has been amazed by how people have meet each other and became friends. I wonder sometimes if he knows how much his movies means to people and how much of an impact he has made . His interviews always brights me day and any negative thoughts is blown away.He does think that if he could somehow touch peope , then that the best part of being en actor.
|
|
|
Post by plaguewind on Jul 8, 2012 20:36:15 GMT -5
I can't believe I am just now finding this thread. What ways do I relate to Gerry? Well, I had a rough childhood, yes but it's not something I really wanna go into. Let's just say a lot of abuse and alcohol was involved. I too am a recovering addict like Gerry and have spent a night or two in a jail cell. I lost my father at 27, very close to the age that Gerry lost his and like Gerry my relationship with my father was somewhat complicated.
Mostly though I relate to the man I see outside the movies. He and I definitely have the same sense of humor and filthy dirty mouth. I relate to the laughter I see in his eyes despite any troubles he's been through.
I guess that about sums it up.
|
|
|
Post by dawne27 on Jul 8, 2012 23:20:03 GMT -5
I can't believe I am must now finding this thread. What ways do I relate to Gerry? Well, I had a rough childhood, yes but it's not something I really wanna go into. Let's just say a lot of abuse and alcohol was involved. I too am a recovering addict like Gerry and have spent a night or two in a jail cell. I lost my father at 27, very close to the age that Gerry lost his and like Gerry my relationship with my father was somewhat complicated. Mostly though I relate to the man I see outside the movies. He and I definitely have the same sense of humor and filthy dirty mouth. I relate to the laughter I see in his eyes despite any troubles he's been through. I guess that about sums it up. you wrote - "I definitely have the same sense of humor and filthy dirty mouth. I relate to the laughter "((cough, cough,,,,,,,,,holds up an index finger)) i'd have to concur plague and would also make an addendum to the 2009 initial post ((hack))...edit out 'not relate to him in a sensual way but rather a heady way' and replace with 'relate to him in a sensual heady way.....' there, thats mo'bettah!
|
|
|
Post by jhawk on Jul 8, 2012 23:59:29 GMT -5
His eyes drew me in....
|
|