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Post by dawne27 on Jul 21, 2009 20:54:40 GMT -5
(whew)...earlier in this thread right away when Shadow you questioned whether this should continue open to the public or not...and okie commented ' who cares'... ...the thread SHOULD stay as is....this is part & parcel for WOGB...i liked the analogy of sometimes light & funny - other times serious. thank you shadow for bringing this to the table....dianne and okie you are amazing gals....and you are perfect right here, right now.... so, how do i 'relate' to gerry...hmmmm, well. honestly. over the past few years i've noticed him in a some films i enjoyed....tomb raider, beowulf, shattered and 300. in between these films it was like a 'slow release' of interest...lets say, i became curious. who IS this? after viewing the special features to beowulf 'wrath of gods'...this actor...gerard was so illuminated, deep, soulful, joyful, expansive and eloquent....a real, bona fide poet....i (embarrassingly so.... ) fell smitten and i had to find out for some strange reason who this was....and, this is when i stumbled upon this hilarious, insiteful & generous site...two things i discovered....i really like blogging (never done it before) and i REALLY do like gerard butler...more than his looks.... i believe humanity needs inspiration, motivation....more than just escapism....we need a vision. and today, our visionaries are 'public people' whether they are political or cultural. it is a phenomenon. years ago....kings were amended by courtely bards & fools....much hasn't really changed, has it? we affect each other. i believe gerry affects many people in very good ways. i find this intriguing. you could say its more heady than sensual. honestly, i can not want someone i'll never have..just don't work that way....but, i appreciate getting a small glimpse into the reality of gerry,,,,his background, his history, his lifestyle, perceptions, personal drive, generosity... all these things i can love from afar and be 'inspired' by it. i am a poet, a dreamer, an artist, writer....creatively speaking he's touched this part of me which i pushed down and set aside for a long, long time. my 19 yr. marriage has been rocky because of his schizophrenia/bipolarism. it's hard to deal with. my two children have looked to me for everything...the road hasn't been easy, to say the least. but....what doesn't kill us makes us stronger...this is why i'm training in nursing and swimming for fathers! the fact is resounding throughout the lives of most of the women on this site...and, i believe regardless of whether gerry placed himself in certain positions or had it foisted upon him...he has in no uncertain way...let us know, his public....he's made it...he is human...there is hope....today....with camera phones and internet...EVERYONE is a public persona, a visionary....what does this mean? maybe, someday....gerry will SPEAK his mind on these and more?
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Post by I'm in Oklahoma Gerard! on Jul 21, 2009 21:10:32 GMT -5
Ahhhhh....Dawne, I think you really hit on something here.
I think there is a spark to Gerry that draws people to him. I believe he is probably a natural leader whether he wants to be or not. Look a his university years -- President while he pretty much admits not fully dedicating himself to his studies -- he is magnetic and powerful.
I think this is why he has portrayed so many kings -- there is just something very regal about him. There is something shining in his soul and it cannot be ignored. This is what causes us to be inspired, whether it is due to his dedication, talent, personality, persona, or looks.
Now maybe I'm just reading more into it all, but I don't think so. I guess this is something else I can relate to because I always seem to be thrust into these leadership positions whether I want it or not. I sort of try to stay on the sidelines, but I always get pushed to the forefront by someone. I don't shy away once I'm there, but I certainly don't go pursuing it. I can see this being the case for Gerry too.
I think no matter where he had ended up in his life, he was going to be a powerful inspiration for many. Because he has found his passion, his light is all the brighter for everyone to see.
(Sorry, I had to modify for spelling. Maybe it's because I'm a Virgo or maybe I'm just plain anal, but I can't stand it when I have typos!)
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Post by Dianne on Jul 21, 2009 21:48:42 GMT -5
Very nice post Dawn, and I am so glad you have become one of the gang, your posts are so wonderful and interesting and we are so glad to have you. And Okie, very insightful you are the nurturer of our group as Pilar is our visionary.
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Post by Shadow of The Phantom on Jul 22, 2009 5:00:38 GMT -5
This is a sweet thread and I'm comfortable leaving the thread here. And Shadow, losing your mother to cancer at such a young age must have been so hard. Thirteen is a bugger of an age any way and to have to deal with that. Just shows what a strong person you are. Thank you, Di. You story is just as strong, and proves that you too have some serious guts to be able to deal and go through all of that. In fact, it amazes me that we really seem to be a group of extremely strong women - emotionally, humanly, and psychologically. I agree with the movie quote. And I know exactly what you mean and how that feels like - during my mom's illness I was, like the rest of my family, always trying to make life lighter for her, but sometimes it was a struggle. Then, after I was told that she was terminal, I was also told that I had to do my best and not show it because she didn't know - technically, that is, because no way can I believe that someone whose body is slowly powering down doesn't realize it. That was the day, as I say, that I put on my own little mask...Other reason that closely binds me to the Phantom's character, btw. Honestly, I am not a just a randomly obsessive person. IF I start to relate to somebody, or if I feel so deeply and emotionally about someone - even if it's a fictonal / movie character, yes - there is always a strong reason behind it. I like to focus on that character, talk about him, write about him, because I just find it comforting and honestly, I don't think I'm doing anybody any harm - the worst that I can do is annoy someone. But anyway, to me, this little process that goes on in my mind with my various " loveinterests" is just proof of how the very complicated and intricated human psychology works. I find it quite fascinating, actually. A couple of things I truly believe are that life is full of balances and that we are not given anything that we are not strong enough to handle. Not to say that it doesn't suck eggs while we're going through it. But, I believe that each of us would not be the people we are today without all the good and all the bad. The choices we have to make shape who we will become. You are exactly who you are supposed to be...and I'm so glad you are! Yes, yes and YES. Oakie, that's EXACTLY what I think. Whenever it seems like there is no 'justice' in the world or in our life, I always think of that. If we're given that, it means we can handle it. Another old but - I think - very, very true phrase is that what doesn't kill you makes you strong - eventually. So so true. Personally, in a way I'm almost thankful of all the experiences I went through. On one side it mentally made me grow up a bunch of years beyond my actual age - nothing wrong with being mature beyond your years, mind you - and on the other it really, really helped me get a real quick grip of what 'putting things in the right prospective' means. When you deal with these types of issues, you may be hurt on one side, but I think you also learn a great deal of stuff you'd probably have never learned otherwise. Where there is bad, there must also me good - always. Something tells me that Gerry was the funny one in his family too Yes, I always thought that too, from the moment I started to know him. (whew)...earlier in this thread right away when Shadow you questioned whether this should continue open to the public or not...and okie commented ' who cares'... ...the thread SHOULD stay as is....this is part & parcel for WOGB...i liked the analogy of sometimes light & funny - other times serious. thank you shadow for bringing this to the table....dianne and okie you are amazing gals....and you are perfect right here, right now.... Thank you, dawne. And I agree with you, as I said I thought this would be a nice opportunity to reflect a little and I am definitely glad you girls like my idea. Excellent post, I love what you said about humanity needing inspiration and how you think Gerry personally inspired you. Lovely. You too share a tough history like some other of us and you're right, what doesn't kill you really DOES make you stronger - I firmly believe that ! I also find it amazingly serendipical (if that's even a word) that a lot of us share these delicate experiences, but after browsing around here and when I first started this thread, I had a feeling I wasn't gonna be the only one who had been drawn and felt linke to Gerry also on these more 'personal' levels. Seems like I was correct! I think there is a spark to Gerry that draws people to him. I believe he is probably a natural leader whether he wants to be or not. Look a his university years -- President while he pretty much admits not fully dedicating himself to his studies -- he is magnetic and powerful. I think this is why he has portrayed so many kings -- there is just something very regal about him. There is something shining in his soul and it cannot be ignored. This is what causes us to be inspired, whether it is due to his dedication, talent, personality, persona, or looks. Now maybe I'm just reading more into it all, but I don't think so. I guess this is something else I can relate to because I always seem to be thrust into these leadership positions whether I want it or not. I sort of try to stay on the sidelines, but I always get pushed to the forefront by someone. I don't shy away once I'm there, but I certainly don't go pursuing it. I can see this being the case for Gerry too. I think no matter where he had ended up in his life, he was going to be a powerful inspiration for many. Because he has found his passion, his light is all the brighter for everyone to see. (Sorry, I had to modify for spelling. Maybe it's because I'm a Virgo or maybe I'm just plain anal, but I can't stand it when I have typos!)Nope, I don't think you are reading more into this, I agree with you about Gerry's innate "regalness". You know, as a matter of fact somehow "regal" was one of the first adjectives that sprung to my mind when I began to become interested in him. There is definitely something incredibly charismatic and leader-like in our Gerry, and as much as I believe he wouldn't been an incredibly successful lawyer also because of these characteristics of his, I'm so glad he found his path in acting and had the chance to share his incredible personality with the rest of us, through his characters, but also and most importantly through still being himself and never changing for the industry's sake, so per say. Hey BTW Oakie - I'm a Virgo too ! Hehe, I know, I know...aren't WE the perfectionists???LOL!It's lovely to chat about these things with you, ladies. And I appreciate the fact that you like my idea.
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Post by dawne27 on Jul 22, 2009 6:53:15 GMT -5
Very nice post Dawn, and I am so glad you have become one of the gang, your posts are so wonderful and interesting and we are so glad to have you. And Okie, very insightful you are the nurturer of our group as Pilar is our visionary. thanks diane! its nice to be here! and shadow: "Excellent post, I love what you said about humanity needing inspiration and how you think Gerry personally inspired you. Lovely. You too share a tough history like some other of us and you're right, what doesn't kill you really DOES make you stronger - I firmly believe that ! I also find it amazingly serendipical (if that's even a word) that a lot of us share these delicate experiences, but after browsing around here and when I first started this thread, I had a feeling I wasn't gonna be the only one who had been drawn and felt linke to Gerry also on these more 'personal' levels. Seems like I was correct!" yes my dear...you are correct, your was great and thank you for it
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Post by Leppardlady on Jul 22, 2009 9:00:03 GMT -5
First of all, I must give all of you a hug. It's amazing what people have gone through in their lives. I am fortunate in my life for having both my parents, more so when I was little; I was a sick baby and it was discovered that I had hypothyroidism (I was born without a thyroid gland) and the doctor's said that I would probably be mentally handicapped - cretinism was one of the symptoms - but I was lucky. I had parents who loved me and made sure I had all the help I needed in school to succeed and an older sister who was patient with me and I learned how to walk and to do other things that she could do. Because of their help and the help of the teachers at school, I managed a B average throughout high school. This site is full of strong women and I am so glad to be a part of it. We are all smart and insiteful and we are also a funny group of women with the same interest. Get Gerry into bed. Seriously, we have a great time here and I love that this site isn't full of stuffy, hypocritical women who say that we shouldn't gush over him and then turn around and do exactly that. We're honest about our obsession and we enjoy gushing over this Hot Scot. I actually relate to Gerry and his character The Phantom in regards to his loneliness; when I read that he (Gerry) was in tears when he spoke of The Phantom's loneliness to Joel Schumacher and he could relate to that, I teared up. There was a guy I was attracted to and who I thought was attracted to me (this was years ago, in 1989, so not the guy I was attracted to at Walmart) and then when I let him know how I felt, he distanced himself from me and then I found out that he slept with my (former) best friend, who was married at the time. To see that he chose someone else over me, especially someone who was married, crushed me deeply. The fact that the woman encouraged me to tell him how I felt drove the knife deeper into my heart. I've been over him for a long time, but it still hurts when I think of it. I watched POTO and watched Christine choose Raoul over the Phantom and I felt his pain. There is another aspect where I relate to Gerry and it's something that someone here brought up about him being a natural leader. I don't ask to be put into that position either, but at work, I am constantly thrust into that role because I know a lot about the workings of the photo lab and everyone turns to me with questions and any problems that occur with the machines. Over two years ago, there was a rumor that our department manager was thinking about leaving, everyone asked if I was going up for the position and told me that I would be perfect for it. I denied any claim then and again when she did leave. We have a great new department manager now and we all get along with her. I had been thrust into the role of manager when I worked at Dairy Queen years ago because the owners thought I would be great for the job, which I was, I was good at making sure tasks got done and delegating responsibilities.... if I do say so myself, I would say I was better than the other two managers because I worked alongside the employees instead of standing back and watching everyone else work, which is exactly what they did. I was constantly told by the employees how shocked they were that I was working and not sitting in the office like the other managers did. That isn't me, I can't stand around while others are working.
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Post by I'm in Oklahoma Gerard! on Jul 22, 2009 18:09:35 GMT -5
First of all, I must give all of you a hug. It's amazing what people have gone through in their lives. I am fortunate in my life for having both my parents, more so when I was little; I was a sick baby and it was discovered that I had hypothyroidism (I was born without a thyroid gland) and the doctor's said that I would probably be mentally handicapped - cretinism was one of the symptoms - but I was lucky. I had parents who loved me and made sure I had all the help I needed in school to succeed and an older sister who was patient with me and I learned how to walk and to do other things that she could do. Because of their help and the help of the teachers at school, I managed a B average throughout high school. This site is full of strong women and I am so glad to be a part of it. We are all smart and insiteful and we are also a funny group of women with the same interest. Get Gerry into bed. Seriously, we have a great time here and I love that this site isn't full of stuffy, hypocritical women who say that we shouldn't gush over him and then turn around and do exactly that. We're honest about our obsession and we enjoy gushing over this Hot Scot. I actually relate to Gerry and his character The Phantom in regards to his loneliness; when I read that he (Gerry) was in tears when he spoke of The Phantom's loneliness to Joel Schumacher and he could relate to that, I teared up. There was a guy I was attracted to and who I thought was attracted to me (this was years ago, in 1989, so not the guy I was attracted to at Walmart) and then when I let him know how I felt, he distanced himself from me and then I found out that he slept with my (former) best friend, who was married at the time. To see that he chose someone else over me, especially someone who was married, crushed me deeply. The fact that the woman encouraged me to tell him how I felt drove the knife deeper into my heart. I've been over him for a long time, but it still hurts when I think of it. I watched POTO and watched Christine choose Raoul over the Phantom and I felt his pain. There is another aspect where I relate to Gerry and it's something that someone here brought up about him being a natural leader. I don't ask to be put into that position either, but at work, I am constantly thrust into that role because I know a lot about the workings of the photo lab and everyone turns to me with questions and any problems that occur with the machines. Over two years ago, there was a rumor that our department manager was thinking about leaving, everyone asked if I was going up for the position and told me that I would be perfect for it. I denied any claim then and again when she did leave. We have a great new department manager now and we all get along with her. I had been thrust into the role of manager when I worked at Dairy Queen years ago because the owners thought I would be great for the job, which I was, I was good at making sure tasks got done and delegating responsibilities.... if I do say so myself, I would say I was better than the other two managers because I worked alongside the employees instead of standing back and watching everyone else work, which is exactly what they did. I was constantly told by the employees how shocked they were that I was working and not sitting in the office like the other managers did. That isn't me, I can't stand around while others are working. Oh Lepp...a little part of my heart was crushed when I read this. I know it's not the same as finding a partner to share your life with, but we love you!
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Post by pilar on Jul 22, 2009 18:20:33 GMT -5
I second that.
Phantom, this is a TERRIFIC thread. I'll go into the deep stuff when I can get my act together, because it's important.
However, my initial introduction to Gerard was life changing and VERY primal.
He struck a powerful sexual chord that has never happened to me before or since.....
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Post by Dianne on Jul 23, 2009 3:55:48 GMT -5
Wow Leppard that is an amazing story. And that friend of yours, what a bitch. You are such an amazing person Leppard it his loss and who wants him anyway, he's a player. He chose the married unavailable gal because he doesn't want to commit. Your friend likely had him and he was no more than a disposable toy to her too. What does that say about both of them?
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Post by ava on Jul 23, 2009 3:58:00 GMT -5
Lassies, big grouphug
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Post by dawne27 on Jul 23, 2009 12:23:46 GMT -5
wow lepp ....your life story is amazing, girl. we MUST take pause and realize that making it (regular) without a thyroid is truly miraculous? lepp darlin' - you've blessed us all here with your sweet resounding words, frankness and humor....
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Post by Shadow of The Phantom on Jul 23, 2009 14:44:52 GMT -5
Girls - first off, let me second that group hug. I'm thrilled that you're liking this thread, and it's amazing what different types of stories we each carry. First of all, I must give all of you a hug. It's amazing what people have gone through in their lives. I am fortunate in my life for having both my parents, more so when I was little; I was a sick baby and it was discovered that I had hypothyroidism (I was born without a thyroid gland) and the doctor's said that I would probably be mentally handicapped - cretinism was one of the symptoms - but I was lucky. I had parents who loved me and made sure I had all the help I needed in school to succeed and an older sister who was patient with me and I learned how to walk and to do other things that she could do. Because of their help and the help of the teachers at school, I managed a B average throughout high school. This site is full of strong women and I am so glad to be a part of it. We are all smart and insiteful and we are also a funny group of women with the same interest. Get Gerry into bed. Seriously, we have a great time here and I love that this site isn't full of stuffy, hypocritical women who say that we shouldn't gush over him and then turn around and do exactly that. We're honest about our obsession and we enjoy gushing over this Hot Scot. I actually relate to Gerry and his character The Phantom in regards to his loneliness; when I read that he (Gerry) was in tears when he spoke of The Phantom's loneliness to Joel Schumacher and he could relate to that, I teared up. There was a guy I was attracted to and who I thought was attracted to me (this was years ago, in 1989, so not the guy I was attracted to at Walmart) and then when I let him know how I felt, he distanced himself from me and then I found out that he slept with my (former) best friend, who was married at the time. To see that he chose someone else over me, especially someone who was married, crushed me deeply. The fact that the woman encouraged me to tell him how I felt drove the knife deeper into my heart. I've been over him for a long time, but it still hurts when I think of it. I watched POTO and watched Christine choose Raoul over the Phantom and I felt his pain. "We are all smart and insiteful and we are also a funny group of women with the same interest. Get Gerry into bed. " I had to laugh at that one. Lepp, your story is very touching, you like your family ought to be very proud of yourself this is just further proof of what amazing women are on this site. Ugh, darling. . . I feel you when you say about relating to Erik in terms of relationships - tsk... wouldn't I know it, sista'! Seems like I have an innate tendency to set my eye on all the wrong guys. I went through something similar. Fell in love with my best friend, back when I was still little - around 11 I guess. Years of secretly drooling over him, he even got himself a girlfriend whom he kept showing up with whenever I was around as well (ARGH. NOT pretty.) plus the idiot kept playing games with me (sorta like 'now-I'm-into-you-now-I'm-not, if you get what I mean) ....... long story short, one day I had my chance and it turned out that my personal prince charming of who I had been dreaming of for so long and who I really looked up to and admired as a person is in fact a classless bastard who has no idea how to deal with a girl and who isn't worth my spit. Ugh. Broke my heart to smash my face in the brick wall of truth, per say, but you know what, on one side I'm glad it's over - because seriously? he just wasn't worth it. Still, when I first watched Phantom, during the ending scene where Christine is leaving on the boat with Raoul and he sees them, I couldn't help thinking, "Aw, baby...don't I know how that feels like."And there's another reason why I love Erik so much. I second that. Phantom, this is a TERRIFIC thread. I'll go into the deep stuff when I can get my act together, because it's important. However, my initial introduction to Gerard was life changing and VERY primal. He struck a powerful sexual chord that has never happened to me before or since..... Thanks, Pil. I'm glad you like it ! Needless to say, I'm now also terribly curious to read your post, 'cause it sounds freakin' interesting. So, I'll be looking forward to it ! Oh, and ladies? For everyone of you :
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Post by LFCgirl on Jul 23, 2009 16:53:54 GMT -5
wow all of you ladies are amazing. I'm not sure what first struck me about Gerry. I actually thought he was cute but it wasn't until I saw interviews with him that something hit me. I'm not sure what it was.
I also can totally relate to Erik in Phantom. When I moved to Maryland from Alabama I was picked on mercilessly by the kids in school. Even people who were my so called friends would pick on me and once in 8th grade in my algebra class it got to be too much for me and I moved seats from where I was supposed to sit to somewhere by myself. I was really upset and crying and one of the boys said "Oh look the monster is crying"and they all laughed so I can totally relate to that part of the story.
I also lost my dad to cancer when I was 18. He had been sick for 4 years and it was tough so I can definitely relate to that loss of a father figure.
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Post by Leppardlady on Jul 23, 2009 21:22:37 GMT -5
BIG hugs all around. I love you gals! LFC: I can't believe your classmates called you a monster? You are a verra bonny woman and I am so sorry that happened to you. I had some so-called-friends in school as well; when I was being picked on by the others students - which was quite often - they would stand there and laugh along with them. Unfortunately, they were the only one's who I talked to in school and I had to bite back any comments I wanted to make to them at the time. Luckily, I got my chance to get out of school. We moved to the next town over and I had the choice of finishing my senior year at my school, dad would drive me every day if I wanted, or I could spend my last year at a new school... I chose the new school. I didn't want to have a miserable senior year and that is what I would have had if I'd stayed. The kids at my new school were a lot nicer to me and went out of their way to talk to me. Pilar: I feel for your friend and I'm sure it helps him that you are there for him and listening to him. We all go through "celtic fogs" - I know I do on occasion and I think it's worse now that I am rereading the Outlander series. Reading about two people so much in love makes me wish I had someone like Jamie... hence why I am always saying I want my own Jamie... who loves me like Jamie loves his Sassenach.
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Post by Shadow of The Phantom on Jul 25, 2009 16:43:04 GMT -5
Hey ladies. Sorry if I haven't replied in a couple of days! So . . . wow all of you ladies are amazing. I'm not sure what first struck me about Gerry. I actually thought he was cute but it wasn't until I saw interviews with him that something hit me. I'm not sure what it was. I also can totally relate to Erik in Phantom. When I moved to Maryland from Alabama I was picked on mercilessly by the kids in school. Even people who were my so called friends would pick on me and once in 8th grade in my algebra class it got to be too much for me and I moved seats from where I was supposed to sit to somewhere by myself. I was really upset and crying and one of the boys said "Oh look the monster is crying"and they all laughed so I can totally relate to that part of the story. I also lost my dad to cancer when I was 18. He had been sick for 4 years and it was tough so I can definitely relate to that loss of a father figure. LFC , I'm speechless . . . I feel so sorry for you, that you had to endure and go through that. In a certain sense I understand that feeling of being isolated and constantly being the 'outcast' amongst your peers, it's unnervingly annoying. But remember, you should never ever EVER listen to what THOSE kinds of people say... Remember, those who make fun or insult a person for mere 'entertainment' are those most in need to get a freakin' life. The problem is THEIRS, not yours. I say, Always keep your head high and be proud of who you are, because in the long run THAT'S what matters - not being accepted by people who aren't worth a THING. And I can relate to the pain of your loss too, of course. But again, I think that on a slightly 'positive' note - if there are such things in such tragedies - is that it's amazing how these events make you so much stronger. 'Course if that's the case, to be honest, being human and sensible, I'd also be willing to stay weak but still have my mom . . . I had some so-called-friends in school as well; when I was being picked on by the others students - which was quite often - they would stand there and laugh along with them. Unfortunately, they were the only one's who I talked to in school and I had to bite back any comments I wanted to make to them at the time. Luckily, I got my chance to get out of school. We moved to the next town over and I had the choice of finishing my senior year at my school, dad would drive me every day if I wanted, or I could spend my last year at a new school... I chose the new school. I didn't want to have a miserable senior year and that is what I would have had if I'd stayed. The kids at my new school were a lot nicer to me and went out of their way to talk to me. Pilar: I feel for your friend and I'm sure it helps him that you are there for him and listening to him. We all go through "celtic fogs" - I know I do on occasion and I think it's worse now that I am rereading the Outlander series. Reading about two people so much in love makes me wish I had someone like Jamie... hence why I am always saying I want my own Jamie... who loves me like Jamie loves his Sassenach. Oh gosh, do I know what you mean! Those 'friends' you speak of - had those too. And I also understand the feeling of having to stick with them, because... well, you don't really have a better option, do you? You did a wise choice changing school, if I may say so. You know, in Italy we have a very nice phrase that says: Chi mi ama mi segua.Basically, it means 'Those who love me . . . follow me.' I find it an excellent advice and have made it my own motto in numerous situations. Pil - I can't find your post anymore, but I'd just like to say that I think you've done the best you could by being there for him and letting him know he could rely on you - I personally believe that to care about somebody means both being there for them but also understanding that there are some times when you really cannot do much for them. Sad but true, you'd like to have the power to rid the ones you care about of their problems, but sometimes solving them is not up to you....what you can do is be there for them and just offer them your presence, even if you might 'back off' a little in the background. Know what I mean? For what I've experienced, people ALWAYS remember who stuck with them in the hard times in the end. Never quite during those hard times, but later? Oh,yes. Another thing that came to my mind after reading these last posts and that I forgot to mention before, I too go through these 'celtic fogs' and I know all those feelings connected to them - loneliness, melanchony, sadnes, sorrow, discouragement . . . But as a matter of fact, somehow I've grown to sort of 'accept' these fogs, it's like they're a part of me, and when one of them strikes... I'm off on my own. I don't care where I am, who I'm with or what I'm doing - if that mind frame overcomes me, I get out of there and on by myself. It's stange to explain, actually... It's as if, well... I'm in the middle of the crowd - because these things usually happen to me when I'm with a group of people - and suddenly, I just feel as though I turn invisible, and I have this immense urge to leave. So, that's what I do. It's not like I do anything drastic, really. But when this mood gets to me, I just have to close myself in my room. Stick my earphones in, listen to my music, watch a couple of scenes from 'my' movies.... It passes, eventually. What's amazing is that I'm actually an incredibly bubbly and chirpy person, per say. It's almost incredible how I can turn from totally social to loner in a few minutes... still confuses me sometimes. Anybody experience something similiar?
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